Vegeta VS Goku Diaries
by Aisling O'Shennachie
Summary: Hope you enjoy these drabbles - me just playing around after I saw the Cat VS Dog diary meme on Facebook. Laughed out loud. I thought it would be funny as a Vegeta VS Goku entry... I just randomly pick a topic and do a 'Vegeta VS Goku' story, I have no idea how many I'll do... A nod in recognition to Akira Toriyama my childhood would have been a different place without you.
1. The Vegeta Diaries

**The Vegeta Diaries**  
 **Day 652 of My Captivity on Earth**

The human woman called Bulma continues to reprimand me like a child, refuses to give me a drying cloth after my bath but then won't leave my side and aids my wounds when I'm hurt. The Female Species is such an enigma.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream to surpass Kakarot. He is the mightiest Saiyan, I've admitted that much. At least for now. This is not over. I won't let him keep me in second place forever, feeding on the scraps of his glory... I will surpass Kakarot and even then, I'll keep pushing, I'll surpass every single warrior in the universe. I won't stop until I'm the ultimate number one.


	2. The Goku Diaries

**The Goku Diaries**

8:00 am

Breakfast! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

9:30 am

Time to get my training on! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

9:40 am

Powered up to Super Saiyan! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

10:30 am

Flying and cutting epic shapes in the air! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

12:00 pm

Pizza for Lunch! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

1:00 pm

Back to Training! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

3:00 pm

Found Dragon Ball in random bush! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

5:00 pm

Teleported home in time for Dinner! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

7:00 pm

Enough food for third Dinner! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

8:00 pm

Fall asleep on the couch! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_

11:00 pm

Wake up to find Dessert untouched! _Oh, Hell Yeah!_


	3. Vegeta: The Meaning of Life

**Vegeta Diaries: The Meaning of life**

The meaning of life is to push every part of yourself. Every muscle. Every cell. Working together as one goal. To be the best. To be the best you must…

' _Vegeta!'_

Blasted women.

' _Oh, there you are! Are you talking to yourself again? It's the first sign of madness you know.'_

 _Madness_...WHAT! Who does this wench think she is!

' _Listen, this ain't no hotel, so the least you can do is pick your stinking underwear… your highness'_ Bulma added a little mock bow as she said the last part, turned with a flourish and left Vegeta to his musings.

The women is infuriating. If she hadn't had taken him in, he would have destroyed her. Bossing him around acting like she's... some kind of… _Queen_! How many times I must remind her that _I am_ …

' _VEGETA! THESE CLOTHES AREN'T GOING TO WASH THEMSELVES YOU KNOW!'_

Vegeta swore under his breath and continued to do so as he dutifully picked up his dirty underwear and did a load of washing.


	4. Goku: The Meaning of Life

**Goku: The Meaning of life**

The meaning of life? Oh that's easy!

Life is like a box of chocolates... No wait! Pizza... Life is like pizza… Oh dang now I want Pizza.

' _Chi-Chi, can we get pizza for dinner?'_

' _I've already made preparations for dinner Goku.'_

' _Oh ok then. I'll call Krillin and see if he wants to get pizza then. Oh hey Chi Chi, that little vein in your forehead is back again!'_

'… _Chi-Chi…?'_


	5. Vegeta: Date Night

_Punch. Kick. one two threee..._

Drenched in sweat Vegeta turns up the Gravity machine. He'd been pushing himself to near exhaustion.

His heart had swelled with pride seeing his first-born reach super saiyin. _As a mere child!_

It also meant he must push himself, so his son would push himself. He must be the best, so his son _will_ be the best.

His muscles stopped aching a while ago. He learnt how to push past this point from years of training past his limits. _Stopping when it gets tough is for the weak_

He breathed in and did a various of martial arts movements with powerful cat like precision.

He was concentrating so hard he didn't see Bulma come to the door and flicking the switch so that Vegeta was unprepared for sudden change in gravity making fall backwards in a most unflattering position, legs spread and pants ripped.

Raised eyebrow. Tapping foot.

I have a reservation in an hour - get showered and put on a clean shirt. Where going out tonight.

Vegeta did a quick scan of birthdays and anniversaries he might have missed before answering...

 _'Why?'_

 _'Chi Chi and I thought it would be fun to go on a double date! Don't give me that look, you and Goku are happy enough to get together and save the world surely you can sit through one dinner together'_

 _'Saving the world is a life or death situation Bulma..'_

 _'Whether we eat is also a life or death situation Vegeta... Shirts out on your bed, be ready in half an hour, this is not up for discussion.'_

For a minute Vegeta thought he experienced an aneurism knowing it was pointless arguing the matter - he'd rather fight against Majin Buu again then say no to his wife... If she was a Saiyin women, he would have a run for his money. Then again, he enjoyed that thought very much... a little too much...


	6. Goku: Date Night

'Oh _man, do I have to wear this?'_

 _'Yes Goku, you can't wear your martial arts clothing to a fancy restaurant'_

Chi Chi pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed deeply. Just once she'd like to do something that normal couples do. It was hard being the wife to a man who insisted on training 24/7.. saving the world, dying then coming back to life to do it all again. _He's such a big lug!_

 _'Man, shirts are soooo restricting!'_ Goku fumbled in his pant shirt outfit, he liked his martial arts clothing for so many reasons.. one being it had an elastic band waist perfect for eating! _Man, am I hungry.. I wonder if they have pizza?_

Chi Chi looked back at her husband and held in a smile, _he was so hansom when he wasn't beaten all black and blue. He was after all… her big lug, and deep down she knew she wouldn't have him any other way._


End file.
